New Starters
Some useful tips and advice from child psychologist Dr Claire Halsey and child development researcher Dr Michelle Lowe are included below:
Separation anxiety is when your child just doesn’t want you to leave them in an unfamiliar situation, whether this is at nursery or with grandparents or other relatives.
It is very common in children. You might feel guilty or upset at the sight of your child crying or getting worried and sad whenever you leave, but it is completely normal and something lots of parents go through.
Separation anxiety is part of your child’s development of their understanding of the world and their place within it. It’s a sign they like you when they get upset – they’re worried that when you leave their sight, you might no longer exist! As they get older, they learn this is a way to exert control over a Parent/Carer.
Over time, they develop the understanding that when you’ve disappeared out of view, it doesn’t mean you’ve disappeared altogether, and so usually children grow out of it as they come to learn. To do so, a consistent approach needs to be adopted.
1. Practise plenty of short separations from your little one.
Over time, they'll learn that if you leave them, they’ll be OK and that you will come back. As they get older, they work towards longer separations and leaving them in less familiar places.
2. Be positive as you say goodbye.
Smile and wave confidently as you leave them. You might be feeling worried, but don’t show it - if your child picks up on it, they will become worried too.
3. Talk about what you'll do together later
If your child is feeling anxious, distract them by talking to them about what you're going to do when you see them again, so they have something to look forward to with you.
4. Make saying goodbye a positive time
When you are leaving, always smile and wave confidently and happily, even if you're feeling worried and sad. Children pick up on how you're feeling.
5. Play peekaboo
Playing hide and seek at home is great for helping develop a child's sense of 'object permanence'. This is the understanding that you don't just disappear from the world when they can no longer see you.
6. Leave at a good moment and avoid prolonging the separation point
Educational psychologist Dr Alison Gurney shares her top tips about getting ready for this journey with your child.
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